Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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