I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
