Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
