she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
