Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
honey bunches of taint.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
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when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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