You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
