Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize