Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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