I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
