i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
not ubering you a puppy
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
