Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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