you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
