im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
