I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
