you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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