you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
