We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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