Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize