Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
