i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
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