genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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