watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
