So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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