I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
