Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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