what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
