check it out our google latitudes are spooning
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
