My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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