Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The struggles of a small town man whore
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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