I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
