she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i out mim tonsoeep
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
