dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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