Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
