What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
