We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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