come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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