Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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