You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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