thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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