The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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