Don't you send me to vm
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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