she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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