please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
