I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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