just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize