idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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