if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
