I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
