garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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