Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
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Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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