i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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