O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
