Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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