No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
