my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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