If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
