So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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