operation harelip BJ is a go
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
